What drives me.

Welcome back to the world I created for us all. If this is your first time, thanks for stopping by. As you can see at the top of the page, there are weekly polls listed that will be the underlying theme for each week. I figured for the launch of the blog, it be important to touch on what inspires us all to become the person we aim to be. For me personally, my poll selection was 'family' for several reasons that will be touched on in this post.

It would probably be grossly understated that my life has been less than ordinary for the 3+ decades I have been breathing. All decisions or actions taken in life have contributed in getting me to where I am today; for better or worse. We all have different reasons for doing the things we do to reach levels of success in life, and through the coarse of time I could honestly say that depending on the time I would have selected any one of the choices listed in the poll. For so long, I was a firm believer that the benchmark for success in life was how much money you made and how you were percieved by the masses. A great deal of this logic is because of the way society is portrayed in the media, and this is unlikely to ever change. From the world of sports, where contracts are so ridiculously inflated (and negotiations are highly publicized), to music/music videos (where you are taught that you aren't living unless you have a refrigerator dedicated to only overrated and overpriced Champagne and a garage full of luxury cars) to general paparazzi pop culture (yes, the same parasites that turned Paris Hilton into a celebrity and percieved role model for young women), the everyday honest working man mentallity is looked down upon and a hard days' work is considered low class. For these reasons, it is completely up to us to sift through the bullshit and establish our own beliefs of what is most important in our personal lives. There are some people who use that type of success to inspire them to be more, and I am certainly not putting them down for the work that they put into what they do, because a CEO of a Fortune 500 company likely had to bust their ass and step on alot of toes to create the life they now have. But, it leaves others to not always reach for the same goals, but to project that image which is complete fodder if you ask me. Even if you don't ask me, I'll say it because I did it when I was younger, too! My friend Dave Everitt once made referrence to our generation as "We wear Diesel Jeans, Prada shoes and Movado watches but don't have any gas in our car or more than $5 to put in it...need that money to go out!" We laughed, but he was balls on accurate with the description. This truly is the status quo for the everyday person, and I was once one of them. Fortunately for me, I realized that this simply wasn't the life for me. I had worked so hard to be something other than me that I lost what was most important to me, many friends and my family. The people that I was honestly working so hard for to include in this grandeur life I was searching for were completely lost in the shuffle.

My aspirations for global dominance, coupled with a nasty drug habit for many years made me a very difficult person to count on in a personal way. Professionally I was clutch because I thought that was the only way to get where I wanted to be, and in the process would eventually ostricize all those who truly mattered. Though I was present in many of these peoples' lives and would do anything for them in my power, I always seemed to come up short when it truly mattered. By my mid twenties I had achieved many goals set for myself; had a successful business, cleaned up my substance abuse issues and developed a reputation in my field as a machine. I was also very lonely and had noone to thank for that but myself, so the real soul searching began. My love for people made me push them away when I knew the last thing they needed around was a self destructive asshole like myself, so how do you go back to people who you had lied to, seen you at your worst, or just completely burned one way or another??? Well, the answer is diffrent for everyone; some people don't have that opportunity afforded to them, some are welcomed back with open arms-no questions asked, and others have to earn it. I was humbled and proud to have earned back many people in my life lost, and in reality, earning that was the only way I would have wanted things. After all, work was the only thing I was really good at, and the greatest job of my life has been proving to many that they were right to have ever invested themselves in me emotionally, and I wasn't completely comprimised after all (a la Darth Vader! hahaha).

Because of all these trials and tribulations, I got to see that people in my life always knew that my passion and ambition, which were often lost in translation, didn't fall on deaf ears, and people understood that my intentions were always good. They let me back into their lives slowly but surely, and for that my personal and professional life has soared ever since. I have a good career that grants me the financial freedom to do many things in life, a part time bartending job that I enjoy (most of the time) and friends and family that give me the confidence to be myself and realize anything worth having isn't worth having if you are alone. Again, for some people out there, the reassurance of making a million bagillion dollars and 'taking over' (a term alot of people use in my professional circle) is what they want out of life, and more power to them if that's how they aspire to be great. But for me, I look forward to starting my own family one day sooner than later, and sharing my experiences thus far to make a great life of good health, comfortable wealth, and absolute happiness. Until then, I have a brother who is doing really special things as a student/athlete @ Villanova Univ. and a sister who keeps me on my toes and is preparing me for life with daughters. But that is another topic, for another day. I'm just sayin'...

So how about all of you???