Salutations people! It has been over 3 months since my last confession on here. As always, no matter how badly i want to put it to print, time gets away and before you know it I'm making excuses as to why I haven't laid it down sooner. So much has gone down since July, that it's literally too much to do now. What inspired my writings today is that when I refelct on a recent trip to Las Vegas for a life long friends' Wedding, and the time spent with a select group of old friends; it made me realize how well the past and present have so much relevance with my future. The present made me think about the past, and collectively they helped remind me just how blessed I am.
To be asked in the Spring if I would attend a friends Wedding that I have known since the first day of 5th grade was to me quite an honor. In the last few years, we have done alot of catching up and got to meet one anothers' special someone and embraced the opportunity to remain close now well into our adult lives. The Wedding was held in one of my favorite places, and a small group of our friends made it out for the trip, as well. Some of them I see relatively often, some not so often, and I was really glad to see someone I hadn't since high school. When you get a group like that together, there are really only two things you can talk about; the past and the present. That common bond is a great outlet and gives the opportunity to here things from another person's perspective (with the benefit of hindsight, as well) and you can often see things differently that you had always captured one way for so long. Tiff's Husband Keith is a dynamite guy from what I have gathered, and to see not only her, but her children happy was a tremendous feeling, and I look forward to seeing first hand what the future holds in store for them.
During the reception, Amanda, a friend since elementary school made the assumption that many people from those days do, and asked how my best friend from childhood was doing. It was a safe assumption, because we were inseperable for many years, went through so much together (good and bad), and to a casual onlooker had the type of bond that seemingly would never be broke. Sadly, as it often goes for so many people, we did lose contact not long after high school. I had to answer Amanda the same way I have everyone else; "I really don't know much other than he is married, has two girls(karma) and a boy...beautiful family, good job and home." That's not to say a bond was broke, as he could call me out of the blue anytime, tell me he needed my help, and would unquestionably get it. I did try for many years to make attempts to find him; really just to see how his life was and just let him know that the memories from us growing up are some of the best of my life, and thank him for that. I did in fact find his little Sister, who was like my little Sister in many regards, too! It was a simple say hello, become friends on "The Facebook" and nothing since. It had become apparent to me that some people are just more prepared to focus on the present and future, and leave the past where it is. We all have to do that one way or another, and I completely understand that. As adults, we have to move forward the way we see as best for ourselves and more often than not, for their families.
Karen, his little Sister, all grown up and married with her first child on the way, did grant me passage to her world which did let me into Brian's a little bit. Photo albums give me the opportunity to see first hand how their entire family has come along, and expanded after all these years. Though I would love to have established contact on a larger level, it is quite fulfilling to see that the whole family (which was like my 2nd family) has persevered through some hard times, and stayed together. It makes me feel good about their future, and mine...
My past and present have been documented in this blog sporatically, but not completely updated. About two weeks after my last entry, I met a woman who has changed my life and made me feel complete in ways no other had before. I truly believe that my search is over and our future looks outstanding! I was told by a friend during my last breakup, which was very bad, that "it should be easy." At the time I felt like telling her to piss off, that she didn't know anything about it, and to leave me alone. Well Val, I stand corrected, and completely understand what you mean. Everyday brings along it's own set of obstacles, but together we easily conquer all, and look forward to what each day does bring us. We have done the family thing, and fortunately her parents don't think I'm an asshole (or if they do, I admire their restraint...though I'm not so sure about her sister???), mine love her and that's a fact, because they wouldn't be tight lipped, otherwise! MB, you are a show-stopper, and I'm glad you are off the market!
You may ask yourself, how did I get here (credit David Byrne-Talking Heads)???
Though all of this may not seem to tie together, for me; it does. Alot of who I am ties in with who I was and who I want to be. For some reason the sanctity and happiness of others I hold dear helps paint a clearer picture of things to come for me. It is my hope that one day sooner, when I am married and starting a family of my own, that: I will have friends at my Wedding who have known me most all of my life and we can carry on as we all did at Tiffany and Keith's, that when I have children the people presently in our lives can be apart of the families future, and...that those from the past who are off of my radar may get curious one day, and through the marvels of modern technology look on from afar and see how far I've come, where I'm going, and get a little bit of joy and nostalgia from who we once were, when all of these things were the furthest thing from our minds.
This writing was for you all; Ken, Trish, Brian, Mike and Karen...Thanks!
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